New Blog!

I've got a new blog! Please find me now at www.laparralife.blogspot.com!

My First Mother's Day :)

It's Mother's Day, and for the first time I am on both sides of the celebration. This May, I am a mother. My last post was right before I got married, and now six months later, I'm not only happily married but also now, joyfully pregnant. Life is constantly bringing surprises and our Father is constantly bringing blessings. It's crazy because I'm really beginning to bond with my little one growing inside my womb. It has taken me months to not only believe I'm pregnant but to feel the reality of being a carrier of life. First trimester was a hard three months for me. I felt sick almost every day, couldn't feel the baby move, and barely had something worthy to call a baby bump. Once I started feeling better (around 14 weeks) and getting bigger, I was able to get excited about this growing life. I'm now half way through my pregnancy and am feeling my little boy or girl move like crazy. It really is unlike anything else I've ever experienced. It's not so much the physical feeling that is amazing (although it is!), but the emotions that come with each movement are unexplainable. Each night when I go to bed, I feel like I'm "hanging out" with my baby. It's such a sweet time to talk to him/her and to pray for him/her. Each time he/she moves, I get giddy--like I'm falling in love. It's been especially sweet since my husband has been away for work. Although I know I'm never alone because God is with me, I really am now carrying with me another person, another soul, another being. There are two beating hearts within me. Two sets of hands and feet. Four eyes and four ears, detecting light and dark and listening to surrounding noises. My child is experiencing life with me, in the secret of his/her hiding place, tucked safely within me. Never in my life have I had someone this close to me, literally united in everything I do. The closest relationship to this thus far has been the one with my beloved husband. And although that is close, it's so different from what I'm experiencing right now.

I can't wrap my mind around the miracle of life, but I know this for sure; it is a miracle. I am grateful to get to experience the blessing of carrying and stewarding a child of the Creator. He could have chosen any other way to bring into existence people, but He chose this. For goodness sake, He created Adam from the dust and Eve from Adam's rib! And right now, He chose me to carry this precious cargo. He chose me to be a mother and He didn't have to. This Mother's Day, I feel privileged. And even though our little one isn't out of the womb yet, I still am a mother. I can't even imagine what is to come when this one comes out of his/her hiding place. I may just come undone. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and mother's to be!

Last post as a single person!

I better make this good. This is my last post as a single person. I figured I'd better blog tonight because a) it's my only "free" time until the wedding, and b) I will wish I would have blogged right before my wedding so I can remember everything later.

Where do I start? I can't possibly go over every detail of my life since I got back from Uganda. There is just entirely too much and God is just entirely too good for me to recount it all. I would have to say the last several months of my life have probably been the craziest months ever. Really, from May 2011 to now, life has felt like lightning flashing through the sky--if you blink too long you miss it.

I was just writing my wedding vows and I went through a few journals. One of my journals had a mention of Andrew at the beginning with a prayer of "God if this is not it, let me know quickly". That was before we ever hung out...before our first date. I was praying for discernment for even going to coffee with him ;) The next several pages were seeking wisdom and discernment with the "Andrew situation" continually. And then several pages later, there was "I think You (God) are preparing us for marriage." And the journal literally ends with wedding plans. In a 50 page journal, that is NOT much time!

I laughed as I looked at the timeline of this all. But after I laughed, I almost cried because the grace of God was suddenly so evident to me. He heard my prayer and answered quickly. How does a perfect God always hear our imperfect prayers? It must be because we have a perfect High priest interceding for us. Thank you, Jesus, that you are the reason God hears me. I have Jesus to thank for bringing me a husband.

I'm sorry, but...

I'm getting married!

To any blog followers I may have had, I am sorry it has been so long, but yes, I am getting married and all my time has suddenly disappeared. Between getting back from Uganda, moving into a new place, working, getting engaged and wedding planning, I have felt a little disheveled. It is amazing how being busy can quickly get in the way of time with the Lord. With the million and one things to do running through my head constantly, I have been distracted from my One True Love. As I prepare to get married, I am already feeling the gravity of Paul's truth in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35;

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."

It is amazing how true this is, as I am sure many of you know. I am so very thankful for my future husband and am so excited for our marriage, but I miss my undivided time with the Lord already. My most recent prayer has been that I would have an undivided heart for Jesus. I truly want to yearn for Him. I know God alone can satisfy, so as I am "busy" with all of this new stuff I must fight to have sweet fellowship with the lover of my soul. Prayers are welcomed :)

A God of Individuals...Uganda post #3

In my last post I talked about a place called Mama Mary's where we met a bunch of kids filled with faith. It was there that I met a seven year old girl named Jen. She wore ratted shorts and a see-through vest-type shirt that tied in the front and showed her whole belly. As I looked around at the kids, I realized she had the least amount of clothes on. It bothered me.

As we went through out the day, Jen clung to my side. There was a sweet connection between us and we loved on each other all day. When we were preparing to leave I had a conversation with one of my teammates about the need these kids had. Earlier we had separated donations for the kids into categories of younger and older kids. I only had a few things for kids older than baby/toddler age--actually I had three dresses from the Jones girls I live with back home. As I talked to my teammate, I realized I had the dresses in my bag, which was with me. Jen walked over to me and I pulled the dresses out of my bag and handed them to her. She smiled from ear to ear and bent down low to say thank you. I hugged her and said goodbye since we were leaving. She wouldn't let go of my hand and ended up walking me all the way to the gate. She kept saying thank you and hugging me.

As I turned to walk to the bus alone, the realization of God's providence hit me. Of course the 'naked' girl would be the girl who attached to me all day...and of course I was the only one who had donations with me--three dresses just her size! Of course. That is our God. Our God is a God of individuals--One who provides for each of our needs. He does not forget about one of His children. No, not one. Truly, He is a Father to the fatherless. I left that day having confidence that no matter what happens, those kids have a Father in heaven who cares for them and meets their needs in Christ.

And so do I. Praise Him.

And another...

Tomorrow will be my one week mark of being back from Uganda. I haven't had any major revelations this week, but I have been able to see God's continued grace from my trip and His faithfulness in all the small things...even now that I'm home.

Today I am sitting on my porch, drinking coffee and truly missing Uganda. It is weird how a place and a people can steal your heart so quickly. I miss the red dirt and the smiling faces. I miss the opportunity to learn from those who are poor in wealth, but rich in faith. I will share a testimony of those whom I miss now.

While we were serving last week, we had the opportunity to visit a woman called Mama Mary who had taken 39 kids into her home and raised them as her own. The kids ranged from age three to twenty. The second we walked in the door, these precious children bombarded us with love, and not just any love, but truly the love of Christ. We had the opportunity to do VBS with these children and one of the first questions I was able to ask them was, "Can anyone tell me about Jesus?" Immediately I knew the Spirit was there. Answers like, "He died for our sins," "He rose from the grave," and "He is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and my Master," rolled off the tongues of these heralds of God.

I wanted to sit down and let the kids teach me, but God called me to bring a message so I continued on. I had been anxious about this VBS before the trip even began, but as soon as I stood before those kids and started speaking of Jesus all my anxiety fled and the Spirit spoke. I don't even know what I said. After VBS the kids wanted to sing us some songs and worship. So we all marched over to a garage-turned-sanctuary and lined up by the wall as the kids stood before us prepared to sing. They started in, singing beautifully with words that touched our hearts.

They sang and worshiped like I have never seen before. These children were on their knees, hands in the air, tears streaming down their cheeks pouring themselves out before the Lord. They were completely undone as they worshiped in Spirit and in truth. It was evident that their faith was genuine and that Jesus is truly all they have and all they need. It didn't take but a second for our team to come undone as well. How incredible it was to watch these precious orphans worship their Father in heaven unashamedly! I began to weep uncontrollably. The song ended and instead of silence, all we could hear were cries and whimpers of everyone in the room. One of our team members stepped forth from the wall and grabbed two small girls as they cried. We all followed suit. Pretty soon every team member in the room was holding one or two kids and crying with them or praying over them. I grabbed a little boy and just held onto him tight, then I prayed God's promises over him and assured him that he was loved more than he could know.

I was (and still am) blown away by the faith of these children. They are filled with joy because they have so much confidence that they have a Father and are loved by Him. They just get it. Oh, how I want to just get it.

One of many to come...

I have returned from Uganda and am pleased to report the Lord has been gracious in all things involved in the trip. He answered so many prayers and I can't even begin to tell you how faithful He is. The trip was filled with moments marked by His fingerprints and in the next several blogs I will share some of those moments. Here is the first.

We arrived on a Sunday and spent the next three days serving at the baby's home and getting to know one another and the children. We spent a lot of time with the kids, just loving on them and learning their stories and praying for their futures.

One of the other team members and I were chosen to paint a mural in the backyard of the baby's home. We were told to paint a few panels on the wall and what was supposed to be a simple mural ended up filling up the whole backyard. We painted for two days and to be honest, I was feeling a little discouraged that I wasn't able to spend more time with the kids those two days. Then one afternoon one of the little guys with whom I had really connected walked out into the backyard and grabbed on to my leg. I had a paint brush in one hand and a can of paint in the other. I acknowledged he was there by patting his head and smiling at him and then I turned back to the wall to paint before I realized, "What am I doing? I am choosing to paint over this child." So I put down the brush and wiped my hands off and picked him up. He hugged me tight and we walked over to the stairs to sit down. He sat hugging me for the next hour on those stairs.

You see, this child is not adoptable like some of the others are. He and his sister were dropped off at the baby's home by his father and he told them he might come back later to pick them up. This little boy is 3 and doesn't speak much and is kind of withdrawn. He seems to have a lot of emotional paint, even at age three. It took him quite some time to smile and laugh with some of us. So the fact that he was letting me love on him for so long was a miracle. I sat there with him and just prayed over him, claiming God's promises for his life.

The Lord really spoke to me during this time as well. He was reminding me that too often we have a paint brush in one hand and something else in the other and we are working hard to get things done. We don't just throw the paint brush down and embrace Him when He comes to us, but instead we try to spend time with Him while multi-tasking. I was so convicted. Here I was doing the "work of God" by painting and serving and I almost missed this opportunity to love on this child because I was so busy working. But Jesus says, "This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent." (John 6:29) So I sat and believed...believed that Jesus is enough for me and for this child. Believed that Jesus has come to seek and save the lost. Believed that this child has a chance. He has a future. And nothing is impossible with God.

And so today, sitting in my room back in the States, I still believe that Jesus is enough for this child and that he has a chance. So I will pray for him and ask for God to move mountains for him. Please pray with me. And please fully embrace the Spirit when He comes.

Uganda in 1...2...3...

I leave for Uganda on Saturday and I am preparing this week. As I pray over the trip, my team, and the children and people we will be meeting and ministering to, I can't help but be excited and overwhelmed with all that is to come. I know many short-term trips can be draining because they are go, go, go, but I fully intend to take this trip moment by moment and strive to see Jesus in it all. This will only be possible with the power of the Spirit. So in preparing for my trip this week, I will be praying for the following and asking the Spirit to come and show me Jesus--His humble birth and perfect life, His death, His resurrection, His ascension, and His coming return to earth for His Bride:

I want to know Jesus and become like him as I change diapers and wash dirty faces.
I want to know Him as I bend my knee and humble myself to pray for someone in need.
I want to know Him and love Him as I give of myself and am emptied of all the truth and grace the Lord has placed within me that day, so that I may be filled up once again the next.
I want to know Jesus in the faces of the orphans and widows as I tell them of the Hope that is within me.

Please join me in prayer as I seek to know Him more through this trip. Pray I would be willing to do whatever He calls me to. Pray that He would cut away the deadened sin areas in my heart as He works on me using the people of Uganda. Pray for energy for me and my team, as I am sure lack of sleep and jet-lag will be major influences on us. And just in case I haven't made it clear (since I have said a lot of "I's" in this post), this trip is not about me; it is about God and His glory...so please pray that people would come to see the glory of God in the face of Christ Jesus as we go to Uganda and serve with humble hands and feet in His Name. May He be made much of!

I will be posting maybe once, depending on the internet situation there. If I don't post then, I will definitely have a series of posts when I return home. Thank you in advance for your prayers, love and support!

Levi (Matthew), I choose you...

The other day I was spending time with the Lord in the book of Mark. I felt this rush of creativity come over me and I wanted to write. I was taken by the fact that when Jesus called His disciples, they didn't hesitate to follow Him immediately, even when they knew nothing about Him.

I saw in Mark 2 when Jesus "saw Levi...and said to him, 'Follow me.' And he rose and followed Him," and I immediately wondered what could have possibly been going through Jesus' mind and Levi's mind. So...I wrote this from Jesus' perspective.

***

"I knew you before the beginning of time. I knit you together in your mother's womb. I fashioned you and chose your every wrinkle. I knew each hair on your head, and I still do--even though you've lost a few.

I placed you into a family--not just any family--a family of tax collectors who lived in Capernaum by the sea. I sustained you as you hated me and sinned against me in your heart of stone. I gave you breath as you went from house to house collecting money that wasn't yours. I ordered your steps to the tax booth that day. I even allowed your legs to bend so you could sit there and wait for me.

You had no clue. You were sick and in need of a doctor. You needed a heart transplant. In fact, you were dead and needed to be brought to life.
So, when I saw you at the tax booth, I wasn't surprised you saw me too. In the midst of the noisy crowd our eyes met. I looked at you, even through you, and said, "Follow me." You rose and followed me and that, was it. I made you for that moment.

Levi, I chose you before you ever were. I used you to introduce me to the table of tax collectors and sinners for my glory. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners, and you happened to be one of them. One whom I chose and whom I love. This was the plan from the beginning. I knew you wouldn't question me when I said 'Follow me,' for I am the Lord of Lords and I have called you. Don't ask me why I chose a tax collector. You will soon see why. I will open your understanding that my blood covers all. And even when I go, keep following me. And you will because I lose none that the Father has given me."

Jesus, that's who

I apologize it has been so long. God has done so much since my last post. I think it is fitting that my last post was asking our great God for great things. God has done just that...great things.

I am going to Uganda in a month.

This opportunity literally came out of nowhere and happened so quickly. God made it evident that I was to go immediately in obedience to Him. I learned about this opportunity on a Sunday night and by Tuesday night I had committed to going and by Wednesday the Lord had already provided $450 (all within 45 minutes). By Thursday I had the $1,000 "goal" needed for the following week. It is now a month before my trip and I have $1,000 OVER the full amount needed. God is SO very faithful and surely has great plans for this trip!

If you'd like to read more about this opportunity please visit my fund raising page. Uganda

But this post isn't about my trip; it's about my great God. Who is this God who loves us so much? Who is this God who stepped out of heaven to live life in the flesh like those He created? Who is this God who bore His own wrath for sinners and died on a tree, rose Himself from the grave, and went to prepare a place for us?

Who is He?

Jesus Christ.

"...Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To Him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by His blood and made us a kingdom, priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. Behold, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of Him. Even so. Amen."

"'I am the Alpha and the Omega,' says the Lord God, 'who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.'" (Revelation 1:5-8)

This is who He is. I tremble and rejoice at the sound of His Name. The great 'I AM.'

Asking for Greatness!

I don't want to be safe and comfortable. I don't want to just sit in my room and study my Bible. I don't want to just go to church on Sundays, Bible study on Tuesdays, Theology class on Thursdays and game night on Saturdays. I don't want to have a routine that is so regimented that I'm bothered when it gets interrupted. I don't want to go to bed early and wake up late.

I want to be spent for Jesus. I want to go all out. I want to love recklessly. I want to depend on the Spirit and not my own strength. I want to go to bed late and wake up early because I'm too busy doing Kingdom work and being enveloped in the presence of my God.

I want to step out of the boat and expect that when my feet hit the water I won't sink because my eyes are on Jesus.

I want great faith because I serve a great God. I want His name to be made great! And I want it now!

Look...we have been risen from the grave (those of us who are in Christ)! We have already died with Christ and will live eternally with Him (Col. 3), so we have nothing to fear in this life. We were dead but now we are made alive together with Christ (Eph 2). Christ has conquered the world!

Why in the world are we so afraid then?! Afraid of stepping out of our comfort zones and giving our monthly income to orphans and widows...afraid of living with community and serving one another selflessly...afraid of sharing the gospel with a stranger in public when the Spirit says "GO!"...afraid of what others might think when we speak like crazy people about our love for God...afraid of articulating our thoughts and being honest about our sin...afraid of messing up.

We need to get over ourselves! I would say "I" instead of "we", but I just know that I'm not the only one struggling with this and longing for so much more. I know that as Christians, we were made "that [we] may proclaim the excellencies of him who called [us] out of darkness into his marvelous light." (1 Peter 2:9) We were not made to be silent and comfortable and hidden.

Dear Brother or Sister, wake up! Let us ask God for great things! Let us ask for miracles. And let us trust that He will hear His children and answer. Expect great things when you ask a great God for His great will to be done in the name of His great Son!

Stop being so serious

The other day my household of 10 was empty and I was alone. So instead of reading and studying in silence like I usually do, I turned my music up really loud and danced like a mad woman.

I would encourage you to not take yourself too seriously. Rejoice in the Lord and be a little goofy. It's okay. Take heart, Jesus has overcome and you can relax for a second. I know I need to do this more often.

Today's signs and wonders in my life...

God is moving. He is granting me much faith and speaking to me in all things. He is using me more than I could have ever imagined. He is giving me clear direction and answering prayers on a daily basis. He is writing His word on my heart and using it to change me and others around me. I am in awe of Him.

I am about to write a series of confirmations from the Lord that have happened in the last two months.

-Two months ago, I was offered a new position at work. I will be strictly counseling in my new position, both women who come in for pregnancy tests and families who have been through the process of adoption. (i.e. I just recently facilitated a reunion of a birth mother and adoptee after 25 years of life)

-Since I took that position, I really have felt the Lord leading me to seriously consider getting into a Biblical Counseling program soon. I began to pray about it.

-A few weeks later, co-workers and friends RANDOMLY came to me and told me the Lord was really working through me to speak to them and to clients. I encountered the question "Have you ever considered biblical counseling?" more than once. I considered this my first major affirmation that I was headed in the right direction.

-I did research on a few counseling programs, finding that one of the main ones was in San Diego...15 minutes from where I used to live. Not necessarily an affirmation, but nonetheless an interesting coincidence.

-Two weeks ago, I was asked to speak on a panel for our all staff meeting at work to speak with staff and volunteers on how to share the gospel with our clients. I considered this another affirmation.

-After the panel, the Lord used what I said to the staff to bring a client to Christ. One of my co-workers shared the gospel with a woman (using some of my suggestions) the day after the panel. Again, affirmation.

-The more affirmations I received, the more I felt I needed. I asked the Lord for more clarity three nights ago. The next day I came home and picked up the mail. I saw some brochure with my name on it and threw it aside, thinking it was trash. I felt the Lord saying pick it up. I went back to it and opened the pages. The first sentence I read was this: "If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, God may be calling you to the ministry of Biblical Counseling." I threw the paper down and started laughing. Then I looked more intently at it and tried to figure out how this organization got my information. I have not signed up for any biblical counseling information, nor is my name registered on anything that has to do with counseling...not even my job...since my title has yet to change. I then thought confirmation number four or five.

-That night I thanked the Lord for speaking clearly but with great faith asked for one more confirmation.

-Yesterday I received a phone call from a client asking who did her pregnancy test a month ago. I looked up her file and responded, "Well, actually, I did your test. What can I do for you?" She proceeded to tell me thank you for praying with her that day. Since then her life has been changed drastically and she has been reading the Bible every day and serving her community. She just wanted to call and thank me personally.
My jaw dropped and I said you're welcome and told her if she ever wanted more prayer she could stop by and I would be there to pray with her. Immediately I knew this was confirmation from the Lord. I NEVER have clients call back, especially if they had a negative test and have no need of our services anymore. This was of the Lord.

I don't need anymore confirmation from the Lord about pursuing Biblical Counseling. I will be going part time at my job next week and will be using my spare time to research (even more) counseling programs with the hope of starting as soon as possible. I am in awe of the way the Lord is using me and speaking to me.

Let me not forget to say that the most common way the Lord speaks is through His word...hence my desire to know the Bible even more. I want to point people to the truth. I don't want them to know my opinion or even give them some psychological diagnosis, but to point them to the only solution there is...Christ Himself. I want to be a living concordance of the word of God.

Confess your sins to one another...

I'm humbled by the way God uses me. I am honored. I am in awe. I see His hand at work in so many people around me lately, and I am humbled that I get to witness the great work He is doing.

Since the conference (almost 2 weeks ago), the Lord has done a lot of heart work on me. There has been so much fruit already. As the Lord has granted repentance to me and many other women around me, I have seen a supernatural love come alive in my community and family. There is so much freedom in confession. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed..." I have been witnessing this everywhere lately. While I was at the conference, a lot of us women confessed our sins to one another and prayed for one another. There was so much healing in just that...but even more healing came in continuing in the way of confession and repentance after the conference.

I came home and asked two friends for forgiveness because I had sinned against them before I had gone to the conference. There is something so crucial about confessing your sins aloud. It is as if your offense is made that more real when it comes out of your mouth...especially if it is being said to the one sinned against. My apology was graciously received by both friends, thankfully.

Today two co-workers come to me in tears (at different times), asking me for forgiveness because of the way their indwelling sin effected our work relationship one day. There's something really humbling and powerful about saying "I forgive you". When you just shrug your shoulders and say, "It's okay, don't worry about it," you are condoning sin. Sin is sin, and we love each other best when we call it that and call it out in each other's lives.

Tonight, the same thing happened in my small group of girls. There was confession, and with it came freedom. It is a glorious thing when all things are brought out into the light. God is light, and in Him there is no darkness. Praise the Lord for light!

Too long

It has been too long. I feel like life has been especially crazy in the past couple months. I'm exhausted, but I'm anticipating a break starting today. Although I am still working "full-time", I now have every Wednesday off. Also, tomorrow I will be leaving for the True Women Conference in Ft. Worth, TX. The Lord's timing is always so perfect. Months ago I had the option to go to this conference with my small group in September, or go with my mom and sister and my mom's church in October. I really felt like I was supposed to go with my family in October. And now that it is here, it couldn't have come at a better time. I need to get away and to rest and to be surrounded by encouragement.

My soul has been weary the past month. I am excited to just leave my every day life. Traveling does wonders for me. It clears my head and helps me focus on the Lord. I will blog about all that I learned when I return. If you want to see what I'm up to while I'm there, check out the site:

Preach the Gospel to Yourself

Life has been so busy lately. I have had a hard past couple weeks. I was sick for a while and then classes began again and I've been busy with work and small group in between. I've been overwhelmed lately. I finally got to the point where I felt like I was doing a lot of nothing. I was running on empty and all my 'good' things added up to one big bad mess; I was just going through the motions. My relationship with the Lord the past couple weeks has really suffered.

CJ Mahaney visited our church last weekend and gave a sermon on what to do during these times. It was probably one of the most encouraging sermons I've heard in a while because it pierced my heart at the right time. Mahaney preached on Jude 1:20-25, but mainly v. 20-21:

"But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life."

I was encouraged to learn (once again) that there is no hidden secret to living the Christian life. All we must do is preach the gospel to ourselves, pray in the Holy Spirit, and wait for the mercy of the Lord Jesus. We must overwhelm our busy days with the gospel. We must pray continually. We must be heavenly minded, waiting in expectation for God's mercy instead of His wrath. We must cling to Christ, our righteousness. And we must persevere.

Life can get overwhelming, but when our focus is upward rather than inward, we can experience His rest even in the midst of chaos. This week I am learning how to continually preach the gospel to myself. I encourage you to do the same.

May you be blessed knowing that the God of the universe came in flesh to conquer sin for your sake. How precious is the blood of Christ!

A Faithful God

God is so faithful.

Since my last blog post on discipleship, the Lord has done so much in our group. Not only have we seen fruit from the preaching that my brothers have been doing and have had the chance to disciple some new believers, but our small group has quickly become the family of Christ knit together in love that I have longed for for years.

One of the things we were trying to accomplish in this group was getting away from agendas and moving more towards living a Spirit-filled life together without a plan or a time limit.
We started doing dinners together on Thursday nights. One of the girls thought it would be a good idea to do communion while we were together, so...now, each week, we go from house to house breaking bread together.
As the Lord began to grow this group and grow this vision, He happened to reveal something great to me. I was studying the book of Acts for a few weeks and right after this process began with our group, I read this:

"They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47

For the first time it felt like I had a visual of what this is supposed to look like. Our group IS devoting itself to teaching, fellowship, the breaking of bread and prayer. Our group DOES have one mind. Our group IS taking our meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart. And the Lord IS adding to our number. Wow, what a beautiful thing! The body of Christ is amazing.

I feel so blessed to be a part of this move of God. I have been looking for this kind of fellowship for so long. God is faithful to provide. I am greatly encouraged by my brothers and sisters here.

Discipleship, what's that?

Have you ever been discipled?

I know I haven't...and it's rare that I find someone who has.

This should be alarming since the last thing Christ said to us before he ascended was "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you..."

We need to know what discipleship is if we call ourselves disciples of Christ.

My small group has been evangelizing lately. Some of the brothers in my group, I believe, are anointed preachers and God is using them mightily. A few men have been saved through the preaching of one of these brothers. Because of this, and the fact that our group feels led to evangelize more often, we were forced to talk about what might happen if the Lord brings people into the Kingdom through our small group.

So, as we talked about what it means to make disciples we came to some conclusions:

-We are called to make disciples, not tell someone about Jesus and toss them into the pond to learn to swim on their own. Therefore, if YOU bring someone to Christ, then YOU are responsible for "teaching them to observe ALL that Christ commanded"--not the church you suggest to them.

-Discipleship means sacrifice. Sacrifice of time, comfort, and ultimately, your life. If we are called to disciple people, we must do life with them...not just Bible study once a week.

-It means being selfless always. It means counting others better than ourselves. We should be doing this daily anyway.

-It means living godly lives for others to see. "Teaching them to observe all that I commanded..." Observe. That means they are watching our every move. We are to do what Christ has commanded. James 1: 22 "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves."

As another brother said last night, and I have often thought, although I do not know what it is like to be discipled, I will try my best to give them what I never had and follow the command of Christ in doing so.

I challenge you, learn to disciple...I plan to start learning right now.

A heart condition

A few things I'm learning these days:

A while ago I blogged about my hardened heart. Well, I'm still noticing how quickly my heart grows cold and hard if not tended to. The other day I was reading Psalm 119 (which I love so much and am quite familiar with) and my heart was hard. With each word I read, I felt a change. My eyes filled with tears and my heart began to melt. At that moment I realized the Word of God is the only thing that can truly soften my heart. If I have a heart of stone, it is an indication that I am not in the word enough. I thank God for this revelation because it shows me my daily need for nourishment from the Word of God. I am starving without it...growing cold...and slowly dying.

Man, God has really been making me aware of the condition of my heart; after all, that is what He is concerned about. The more I learn about my depraved heart, the more I have to cling to Christ.

I am also learning much through my Bible Study (Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss). It is allowing me to identify lies I didn't know I was believing. Simple lies like "I can make it through the day without prayer and the word...I'll do it tomorrow," or "I can watch this movie, be entertained, and NOT be drawn away from Christ." These are lies, direct lies. I am unable to do anything pleasing to God when I do it in my flesh...and you better believe I am acting in my flesh when I haven't been in the Word or in prayer that day.

Romans 8:5-8 "For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

It comes full circle...if I am not in the Word, I set my mind on things of the flesh, I start to believe lies, my heart begins to harden, and I can do nothing to please God.

Thank God for His Word, and for Christ Jesus, who is our hope and our righteousness.

Blessed Father's Day weekend

I know the love of two fathers. I know and cherish the love of my earthly father, with whom I spent much time this weekend, AND I know the great love of my heavenly Father, who continues to reveal Himself to me more and more each day.

I was so blessed to get time with my parents this weekend. They came to Minni and we played and relaxed all weekend. Gosh, I just love my dad SO much! I am incredibly blessed to have a father who cares for me deeply and would do anything to protect me and provide for me. He brings me so much joy and just loves me well.

As we played in the pool, drove around the city, went to a car show, went to church and ate out multiple times, I realized how truly special my father is. He is goofy--one big child. He is talented--a jack of all trades. He is compassionate--a true servant of God. He is my dad, and I love him.

I am thankful that my relationship with my earthly father points me to my relationship with my heavenly Father. Although not comparable, the love and comfort I experience with my dad give me a better understanding of the love and comfort that comes from God the Father. In a world where many fathers are absent, I am truly blessed to have a father who is not only present in my life, but who loves and supports me in all I do.

I love you, dad. Happy Father's day!