i got a manicure...

Suzie Homemaker here i come!

for some reason, i have been more and more domestic lately. i've been wanting to cook and clean for people lately. tonight i made chili for some dear friends. it was my mother's recipe, and i actually did it justice! i was so proud of myself. not only did i cook, but i had candles burning and the table set nicely for all--not to mention the pine cones and crafty christmas display surrounding the table. i love serving others.

tonight we found the perfect house, which we've been on the hunt for for a while now. it was a colorful 3 bedroom with lots of character. tomorrow we are turning in our applications and hoping we get the place. if so, we'll be moving in january 1. i am so excited to get settled and make a place my own. this apartment i'm living in is just a storage place for me right now--it's not home. i'm so excited to find a home...where i can be even MORE domestic!

this weekend was great because i went ice skating for the first time in my life. i would have never imagined my first time skating on ice would be on a beach. kind of ironic that i had to come from a wintery state to a sunny state to ice skate, but nonetheless, it was beautiful. i only fell once. ha. no, but it really was beautiful--everything about it. the act of skating. the christmas lights surrounding us. the beach and palm trees staring back at us. it was all perfect. it made me feel like a kid again.

this is kind of a random post, but it's just some of the things going on in my life. nothing fancy, just life. all is well here. i am blessed.

Officially winter

this morning i decided it's officially winter. (not sure if i have the authority to decide that, but nonetheless, i did) it's been foggy a lot in the mornings and kinda chilly, but today, it just looked wintery (for california anyway). and i was cold all day, so i decided this is winter in san diego. cold. but not f r e e z i n g. thank god.

it's december already and i don't know how that happened. i went to phoenix for thanksgiving and had a great time with the sisters and bro-in-law, but i started to get a bit depressed when i realized i was not going home for christmas. when i came back to san diego, i was in a festive spirit and was wanting to decorate. but decorating costs money and that's something i don't have right now. so, i got a little more depressed as i realized my apartment would not be festive AND i would spend christmas alone. boo. BUT today, as i was checking flights, i found one under $400 and i decided to get it. so i'm coming home! i'm actually flying ON Christmas day, but better late than never, right?

so i am excited that it is winter and that there is a possibility of seeing snow. a new year is quickly approaching and i am excited for fresh beginnings. and now, i am excited to go home.

A very different fall

it is the middle of november and i can still go to the beach. in fact, i went on saturday. it has been so hot lately that i have to keep all the windows open in my apartment in order to breathe. my mind cannot comprehend that it is fall. so tonight...i am forcing fall upon myself.

i am wearing a scarf, drinking hot tea, and reading a book in my reading chair. i am almost sweating, but it is worth it because it now seems like fall.

today was a great day. actually, i've had a great couple of days. my best friend's mom was here over the weekend and we had a very relaxing and enjoyable time. after the beach on saturday, we bought some crafts from Michael's and made cute and crafty hair clips. then we ate pizza and watched a movie. my soul was really craving rest and i definitely got it this weekend.

i've been so busy that i forgot how great it feels to slow down. i was talking with a friend last night about constantly being in transition because i still am. i somehow believed the lie that after college i was supposed to have life figured out and would have all this time to do the things i love the most. well, i've been in constant transition since the last day of college and i'm starting to wonder if this period of life is even a 'period' at all. i've really been wrestling with myself and god about where i am and where i want to be. god's timing is so different than mine and i've been trying to move past the 'now' and into the future. this has been a very weird year of my life, one i will never be able to explain, yet it is one i'd never give up. i am me. i am here. and i'm slowly learning that that's all i can be. so this is me slowing down and trying to be patient.

i'm off to drink more tea and read my book...until next time.

forcing fall,
Lindsey Michelle

Newness November

A fresh month. A new start. I'm calling it Newness Novemeber. Today I ran the Susan Komen 5K Race for the Cure. My team, 'Little Boobs Count Too', dominated the course. I was so proud of us all. It was so good to run for a cause and with special people. I am already looking to run a 10K next. Yesterday, my work held the annual candlelight vigil for the homeless men and women who died on the streets this year. It was very touching and very necessary. We carried 58 candles and 58 pairs of shoes that represented those who died on the streets alone. I felt so blessed to be a part of it. This weekend was a great kickoff to November. I feel like this month is a new time for me.

The last two months I let life get in the way of living...if that makes sense. But now I am slowing down and really taking time to do the things I love the most. The time change last night will now allow me (or force me) to run in the mornings now instead of after work. I think Jenna and I are going into work later after we work out in the mornings. I am excited to get the day started with a morning run.

I usually work at the coffee shop on Wednesday nights and Sundays, but the last two weeks I took off. Last weekend I went to Phoenix to see my sisters and the new puppy. The five hour drive was welcomed, as I was alone and needed time to think and just be. The time with my sisters was relaxing and enjoyable. I had a great weekend, besides the fact that my car broke down on the way home and I had to pay $700 unexpectedly. But I felt so blessed and taken care of that the money didn't even matter. It's just a car. Just money. At least I got to see my sisters and had a great weekend.

Today I took off work for the race, but even more, just to relax. I'm sitting in my bed, blogging, and catching up. I love it. This month is going to be a good one. I'm going to make time for myself and not let life get in the way again. Yay for Newness November! P.S. Here's a picture of my new favorite niece.

deception

things are never as they seem. there's always something deeper...something more than meets the eye (or heart). we, as human beings, can be so easily mislead and deceived. i have been deceived. i have been angry with myself the last couple of days because i let myself see things only skin-deep. if only i would have looked deeper--investigated. but the bible says the heart IS deceiving, and since i often lead with my heart, i am now learning how it fails me sometimes.

it boggles my mind how people can live a lie so easily. as i've grown into myself, into who the lord has made me, i've learned to drop my disguises because i can no longer be anybody but me. it's really hard for me NOT to wear my heart on my sleeve. because i let people in so quickly, i also get hurt more easily. i could be bitter about this and shut down, but then i remember the fruit that comes from being vulnerable and loving. i look at jesus' life and see how he got hurt time and time again...and even how we continue to hurt him day in and day out as we sin. did he ever shut down? no. never. he was always loving. always speaking truth. always trusting that true love would conquer all. true love would take away all the hurt. his soft grace and gentle spirit broke down so many walls. oh, how i long to be just like that.

although my heart was deceived, my spirit is still willing. i long to love without deception here on earth, but for now, i remind myself that the love that comes from my lord is unfathomably true and more than enough. HE is more than enough for me.