my heart smirks

i've been home sick all week. i have sinus infection and a nasty cough. monday i found out i had to come home for a doctor's appointment. i got here monday night and i was angry. angry with the world. angry with god. angry with myself. i was miserable. given part of that had to do with being sick, but as the week continued, my attitude changed and my sickness didn't.

as i sat and sulked most of the week, i began to realize life is truly what you make it. lately, i've been making life crappy. i've let my crappy circumstances define who i am and that's not how you live life. as the hours ticked away with me sitting, reading, knitting, writing, and watching, i felt a peace come upon me that i haven't felt in a long while. it was a whisper of hope. a gentle voice calling me to contentment and joy. my heart smirked.

my parents are holding me hostage. because i'm sick and the roads are icy, they won't let me leave. ha. i am 23 years old and am very capable of leaving without their consent, but the truth is, i have nothing to get back for. and on this valentine's day, i'd rather spend it with my parents than alone. i feel loved and supported. i have hope once again.