the spectrum...

as i've been processing my experience in peru, i'm learning about the spectrum of christian community and the role it plays in my life. i had a really amazing experience in L.A. two and a half years ago. i had great christian community with unity like never before. i experienced miracles. i fell in love with diversity. i embraced brokenness. i felt the word come alive. i made lifelong friends. and i felt more alive there than ever before.

with my experience in peru, i felt a lot of the opposite. i learned how hard community can be and how satan creates disunity when we let him. i learned how ugly we can be, even as christians. i didn't see miracles, but i saw service behind the curtains. i had a hard time finding hope in the midst of discouragement.

my point is, because i've been at both ends of the spectrum, i now know where the middle is...and i feel like i have a truer perspective on christianity. when christ died for our sins so we could experience true love, joy, peace, and all the amazing things that come with eternal life, he also brought us pain, brokenness, suffering and all the things that come with earthly life. being a christian doesn't mean life is better or easier. in fact, when we pick up our cross and carry it, life is even harder. the only difference between a christian and a non-christian is hope. when we suffer, when we lose, when we fail...we have hope of a better life to come. we have hope of spending eternity with our savior.

i'm wrestling with finding joy and contentment in this place right now. i may search and seek for something more every day. i may travel the world in search of answers to life. i may have my wildest dreams come true. BUT nothing, absolutely nothing, will satisfy me the way only christ can. i must remind myself of this daily. otherwise i'll continue to search and come up empty over and over again.