choose your destiny

i was thinking/praying last night and it dawned on me that we choose our lives. yes, god created us, placed us in a family, and has a will for our lives. but we choose every day if we're going to follow that will and we choose what we do with it.

for example, i am here in lincoln right now because i believe it is god's will. i don't know why he has me here--but he does. the catch is he has given me freedom in being here. i complain that i don't have anything to do and i don't know what i should do, but the thing is, it's my choice. i've been choosing to not do much. i choose every day to either lay in bed for a little longer and feel sorry about myself, or get up and be active, making for a productive and happy day.

i guess after contemplating my life recently, i've seen that i have no reason not to trust god. i mean, ever since my senior year of high school i've been hearing his voice clearly, and each time i choose to follow, he amazes me with something. right now i can't see what the amazing thing is (or will be). i do know however, that i'm in the right place. i am with two of my best friends supporting them and loving them as they finish college and i just wait around. i'm taking this time to write a book, to knit a skirt, to take a long walk, to read, and to figure out what i want to do next.

lately i've been telling god i trust him because i have no reason not to. he's never failed me and i trust he never will. but just because i trust him and wait for him to speak, that doesn't mean i don't have freedom in choosing what's next. i do. it's called free will. and that's the beauty of god's creation in our relationship. he loves us more than anything, but allows us to choose to love him back. he has a plan for us, but allows us to choose our own plan. he's always there waiting when we choose wrong. the key to life is wanting to choose the same plan god has already chosen for you. i'm actively seeking that plan.