youthfulness

last night i decided that i'm young. i've been feeling old for multiple reasons since i returned from peru--everyone is getting married, we're out of school, some of my friends are having kids, etc. and then last night i decided 23 is so young. i still have so much to do and to learn...i'm inexperienced and have so much ahead of me. let's just call me a young supple peach (just because i like peach everything not because i look like a peach).

ecclesiastes has become one of my favorite books in the bible in the last couple years. i opened up to ecc 11 today and felt encouraged in my youthfulness. first of all, a couple verses tell exactly what i feel and think every day lately...here they are: "If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. God's ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind, and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in a mother's womb. Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow--perhaps they all will." (v.4-6)

it's like i've been waiting on god, because that's what we do as christians. but waiting and lying dormant are two very different things. there are so many times that i do wait for 'perfect' conditions before i make a move. but there's no need. even if i move too quick, the god of the universe will catch me when i fall. the second part of the verse (god's ways are as hard to discern as the wind) has been hitting me over and over again. it's a windy day today--in fact, too windy to enjoy the outdoors, even with the sun being out. as i look out the window of this coffee shop, i see straggler leaves blow by. although the majority of them blow to my left, some blow to my right. the trees sway back and forth and the dust blows uphill. the direction is unknown and the wind is powerful. that's how i feel god's will is in my life right now.

okay, the last part of the verse is a new insight for me. 'be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops...' i've been wondering lately what my niche is. i love kids and enjoy ministering to them. i love writing and am trying to write a book. but i just don't know where the lord wants me to pour myself into. i feel like this verse is telling me, i don't have to choose just one thing. i can love and invest in all of them. later on in chapter 11 it says, "Young man (woman), it's wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do." life is starting to seem so simple in principle...through god's word. basically, do what my heart desires as long as it's in line with god's desires. and know that what is good and what is true, claim it as god's.

today, on this windy and sunny day, i embrace youthfulness. on this day, i embrace the creator. the creator of mystery, of beauty, and of grace. i willingly fall into his hands. jumping, even when the conditions aren't perfect. i invite you to jump with me.