birthday bash

this truly has turned out to be a month of celebration. i have been celebrating my bday for almost 2 weeks now and it will continue into next weekend. i am about to list all that i have done...and then i will elaborate :)

1. a concert and dancing
2. manicure and pedicure with a dear friend
3. dessert and drinks night with all my friends...just for me
4. a day at the spa, full-body massage included
5. Sea World and dinner with a friend and my 9-month-old boyfriend :)
6. free prime-rib at the Boathouse restaurant
7. Grey's Anatomy premiere party with the girls
8. a live music house show and wine and snacks at my house
9. coffee and breakfast with a dear friend/roommate
10.TO COME...boating in the bay, dinner downtown, and skydiving ALL with my sister and brother-in-law

now, i'm not sure if any of you know this, but i've had a series of terrible birthdays in the past...at least up until my 23rd when i was in peru. so, now that the last couple of birthdays have been so great, i'm learning to love growing older. this birthday was so relaxing. i felt very loved and appreciated. the lord really blessed me, and continues to bless me with the relationships that i have formed here and continue to form. i feel the lord is using me and speaking to me daily and i love where i'm at. i am content where he has me right now.

with that said, i must admit i did not feel this way a few weeks ago. i was freaking out about turning 25--you know, the typical evaluate-your-life-and-base-it-on-your-childhood-desires syndrome. i thought, just like everyone else, that i would be married, with children and career at 25--well established. guess what??? i'm now 25 and still lack all of these things, BUT i would have it no other way. as long as i'm drawing closer to the lord each day, i consider it success. i love the life i have in christ, even if in the world's eyes it doesn't look like much :)

i'm dating myself

today i did something i've never done before--i took myself on a date...ALL DAY LONG. i was alone from beginning to end. i woke up, cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and my room. then i took a shower and got ready for the day. i stopped by a couple shops on my way to the car wash (since my once white car was filthy brown). i bought a cute shirt for the purpose of kicking off fall (it's flannel), and then i cleaned out and washed my car. by this time it was 2 pm and i hadn't talked to a single person yet.

i drove to the bay and watched the sailboats get kicked around by the waves. i just listened the the waves crash as i sat on my cozy little rock. this is one of my secret places in san diego...i go there to get inspiration. after a while of silence, i laid my towel out on the grass and began to read psalm 119. since april i have been periodically studying and writing on psalm 119. so today, i picked up right where i left off. it's been such a long time since i wrote last and it felt so good today. god began to soften my heart as the day went on.

after i left the bay, i picked up a burrito and ran home to check movie times. i have been dying to see the new tyler perry movie and i knew it came out this weekend. so after realizing i had spent the whole day alone, i thought about going to the movie by myself as well. i've never done that before. some may think it is strange, but i felt liberated by the fact that i could go to a movie by myself with no shame. so i did it. and it was great.

the movie is called 'i can do bad all by myself' and it is a really great story. tyler perry is my favorite artist and all of his stuff really hits home for me. i was brought to tears multiple times in this movie (it was definitely a good one to see alone).

so, i took myself on a date today, but i was really never alone. i never am. the lord is forever my best friend and his presence is heavy on me these days. i think that is why i have such security in being alone right now. although it gets lonely often, i remind myself on days like today, it will not always be this way...one day i will have a husband and children and will rarely be alone. but until then i'm embracing it, i guess.