today i did something i've never done before--i took myself on a date...ALL DAY LONG. i was alone from beginning to end. i woke up, cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and my room. then i took a shower and got ready for the day. i stopped by a couple shops on my way to the car wash (since my once white car was filthy brown). i bought a cute shirt for the purpose of kicking off fall (it's flannel), and then i cleaned out and washed my car. by this time it was 2 pm and i hadn't talked to a single person yet.
i drove to the bay and watched the sailboats get kicked around by the waves. i just listened the the waves crash as i sat on my cozy little rock. this is one of my secret places in san diego...i go there to get inspiration. after a while of silence, i laid my towel out on the grass and began to read psalm 119. since april i have been periodically studying and writing on psalm 119. so today, i picked up right where i left off. it's been such a long time since i wrote last and it felt so good today. god began to soften my heart as the day went on.
after i left the bay, i picked up a burrito and ran home to check movie times. i have been dying to see the new tyler perry movie and i knew it came out this weekend. so after realizing i had spent the whole day alone, i thought about going to the movie by myself as well. i've never done that before. some may think it is strange, but i felt liberated by the fact that i could go to a movie by myself with no shame. so i did it. and it was great.
the movie is called 'i can do bad all by myself' and it is a really great story. tyler perry is my favorite artist and all of his stuff really hits home for me. i was brought to tears multiple times in this movie (it was definitely a good one to see alone).
so, i took myself on a date today, but i was really never alone. i never am. the lord is forever my best friend and his presence is heavy on me these days. i think that is why i have such security in being alone right now. although it gets lonely often, i remind myself on days like today, it will not always be this way...one day i will have a husband and children and will rarely be alone. but until then i'm embracing it, i guess.
4 comments:
Abolustely fantastic. Those were bittersweet days (more sweet than bitter looking back) when I was first here in San Diego doing what you did, taking myself on dates based on the premise that I should, "get up, dress up, show up" even if there was no one to do those things for but myself.
They say you grow up when you buy your first house. Rubbish.
I say you grow up when you go to a movie by yourself the first time. People do treat it as an odd practice, but it's remarkably liberating.
I'm so glad you had a hot date with yourself, darling, and I can't wait to read your thoughts on Psalm 119 someday (soon, I hope).
Love you lots and thanks so much for posting this!
M
P.S. It must have been soooooome date b/c your photo indicates that you not only took in a lovely view, you also time traveled! Do I still have a job in December? How long has my hair grown by then?? (haha!)
Oops, posted twice, please delete!
Love it girl!! Yes I love getting to that place of peace being alone and walking to closely with the Lord that you do not feel alone. It is sweet, sweet fellowship. Enjoy it girl!
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