A heart of playdough

I have a heart of playdough these days. If not kneaded continually, it will harden quickly.

I have been in a battle this week with my sinful nature. My flesh has been tempting me to find temporary pleasure in such shallow things. "You're too tired to pray...You had a hard day, take a break and watch a movie...Sleep in just a little bit longer, and don't wake up to read your Bible"...and it goes on, and on.

I have been confronted multiple times this week with the condition of my ugly heart. One day I was struggling to get the keys out of the lock in my door and I almost threw a tantrum. It hit me then how hard my heart had become in such a short time period. My last blog, 'grace upon grace', was out of an overflow from a very sanctifying week with the Lord. I should have known that immediately after that week I would be experiencing attack and would be in battle. The thing is, the enemy is so good at creeping up on us, when we're not quite ready for battle. I had set my sword down and was only loosely holding my shield. In my prayerlessness last week, my heart of playdough sat out on the table hardening from the outside in.

Last night at church, I begged the Lord to soften my heart, for I knew I could not do it on my own. I wept during the worship because I felt the Lord slowly softening my heart and I was broken over my sin. After church, I prayed with a dear friend and the Lord continued to soften my heart. Then I went to bed, and when I woke up this morning, it was as if my playdough heart had been left out on the table again...all night long. How can this be?! Why is my heart so inclined to be rebellious against my Lord and harden itself so quickly?

The answer is found in the Word of God (as are all other answers to life).
1 Peter 2:11
"Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul."

My flesh and soul are at war. Every day I am in battle. I cannot give in or grow weary for the battle will last until the day my earthly body dies.

My aim now is to arm myself with the same attitude of Christ Jesus, the one who suffered for my sins, because I WILL suffer and when trials come I want to be armed and ready. I urge you friends, fight the battle with the Word of God. Read it even when you don't want to. Pray even when you are tired. Be vulnerable even when you don't feel like it. Don't leave your heart of playdough out to be hardened. Place it in the hand of the Lord and let him knead it until it is soft and moldable, able to be shaped into whatever He desires. I plead with you, even as I am pleading with myself to do the same...and of course, pleading with the Lord to soften me since He is the only one who can do so.