where'd it go?

there are many things i like to do. some things i like so much that i actually make time for them. some things that get put on the list of things i'd do if i didn't have a job. and some that get put on the list of things i'd do if i were actually good at them. after being bored for a month and a half, i realized i'm not making use of my time. i'm not doing the things i say i like. what made me realize this? all the sudden i got 'busy' and HAD to prioritize. let me tell you, i didn't do a very good job.

i've been watching a LOT of t.v. lately, sleeping in late, and being lazy. this week so far, i've managed to NOT work out, not even once, to not work on my writing, to not spend time with the lord, and to not do anything productive with the time i DO have.

i watched a movie tonight that taught me a little about passion and talent. there are things i am passionate about and things i am talented in, but i haven't made time for any of those things. i was inspired tonight to MAKE time for those things...to let my passion drive me, and my talents be known.

i used to draw. i used to paint. i really loved painting, but it took up so much time and money that i dropped it. i stopped drawing and that was completely free...a pencil and paper come cheap from years of leftover art materials. i used to sing...sing at church, sing in the car, sing in school. but that left me too. how did i let these things go? where's my heart and why am i not expressing myself through ways i used to love so much? how did i let the world rob me of MY time?

i fear this person i've become is boring. i want to go back to interesting. i want to inspire.