Saturday, September 29, 2007

beautifully broken

so, it's been a while since my last post, and A LOT has happened.

i've had a really, really tough time since my birthday...a really rough week.
i felt like god was stripping things away this week. i actually lost a lot...including: my keys, my money, a copy of my passport, my insurance card, my boyfriend, my gloves, my composure, and my mind.

it was one thing after the other. i felt like the lord pulled the rug out from underneath me and i fell hard. wednesday was the culmination of it all when my peruvian family was really upset with me for losing (or having stolen) the keys. then we were 45 minutes late to hang out with the kids in the morning and i just lost it. i had a mini breakdown, but it was so good...and very needed. on top of all this, i am still sick and suffering from flea bites. so overall, this was a really ridiculous week.

BUT the lord is good and in my brokenness i was able to see more of god's faithfulness and love. i really felt like he opened my heart up to being here and to the kids i'm working with here. i've learned more this week than all the time that i've been here. i really feel his presence and peace in my life right now, even in the midst of confusion. as i'm broken from the things of my own life and the things in these kids' lives, i can see more clearly the heart of christ. i love that god comes to serve the sick, poor, and helpless, not the ones who think they are already good enough. this week i was shown that i'll never be good enough and i need to rejoice in the fact that i'm just a ragamuffin here on this earth. there is so much beauty in brokenness, so much love, and so much grace. i hope to be broken more often. the growth and the intimacy with christ that comes from the brokenness is worth all the pain and suffering.

i am blessed when i am hurting. i challenge you to hurt with me and with other brothers and sisters in your midst.

1 comment:

dale said...

When we are weak then we are strong. Our grace is made perfect in weakness. Thanks for giving us a glimpse into your world.
We're praying for you lady.
dale