crazy nights

i went to the streets last night for the first time. it was crazy. every friday night we rotate people who stay at the church and pray and those who go out and feed the kids sandwiches and pray with them. last night i went out.

i didn't really know what to expect except for the fact that a lot of people would be high (huffing glue) and that we'd see some of the kids we know. as soon as we hit the streets i saw a lot of stuff that broke my heart. almost all the kids were high...really high, and really young. that was super tough to see.

this new kid came up to me and introduced himself and then we played thumb wars for a while. i felt like god was using me in order to allow this kid to be a kid for just a second on such a harsh night. then there were the little ones...and when i say little, i mean like 7 months old to 3 years old. they broke my heart by just looking at them and knowing their home is on the street. this little boy fell down and was crying so i held him for about 10 minutes and tried to console him. he continued to cry and then we found his mom and the second he saw her he stopped crying. all he needed was some lovin' from his momma. the thing is, those kids are passed around so much, and a lot of the times the parents are getting high, so the kids never get the love and attention they deserve. it's tough to see.

stuff got crazy a little later on. the cops showed up and went after this girl. girls just started throwing (literally) their babies at us and running away from the cops. i had this baby girl in my hands while i watched the cops drag this girl off the streets. finally stuff settled down and people dispursed and went their own ways (and the mom came and got her baby from me), but it hit me...this kind of stuff happens EVERY night. there is no security, no consistency, no comfort in the streets. satan has his name on so many streets here in lima, and it is so dark...BUT god is changing hearts and lives every day, it's just harder to see.

we sang a couple worship songs with the kids and prayed in groups before we handed out food. it was so evident that god was in the midst of it all. people closed their eyes and worshiped, sang as loud as they could, and just really enjoyed that moment. it's so clear to see that these people long for love and change. they long for the love of god to touch them daily.

i'm still processing this all, but the way i feel now is helpless. i really can't do much to change the circumstances of the people here, i can barely speak to them. i can however be there for them. and that's exactly what i'm doing...i'm here.