right now i live at the beach, at the coffee shop, and on the internet searching for jobs. i am trying so so so hard to love this down time, but it is almost impossible. my mind does not let me rest when i know i don't have a job. i am in constant searching for anything, and nothing turns up.
i read a blog on transition and it talked about two feelings that you experience during transition: elation and sorrow. i experience both daily. i both love and hate this time of my life. i am so excited for new things: friends, jobs, communities, etc. but the uncertainty of this transition can really get to me some days. yesterday was a fantastic day. today was just okay. tomorrow is unknown. i do know one thing...god is drawing me closer each day with this uncertainty.
i found a pretty good church yesterday and i'm excited to get involved. i need to start volunteering somewhere with all this time i have on my hands. that will be my goal this week--to find a place to pour myself into while i wait for a job opportunity. i'm slowly transitioning, but just in the past two days have i realized that this transition has moved from point A to point B. it's crawling, but at least i see movement. i'm slowly meeting people, making my regular places feel like home, and realizing i live in southern california. god's moving my heart in some direction...don't know where it's headed, but i know i'll find purpose in this time when it gets there.
my life is just so very different from my friends' lives right now. i had a conversation with a friend who's getting married the other day and this is how it went.
You: choosing cake decorations
Me: laying at the beach
You: preparing to spend the rest of your life with someone
Me: single and don't know a single man in san diego
You: working a full-time job, stuck
Me: unemployed, a nomad
you get the point. and it went on. i wouldn't change this time for anything. but there are days that i wish it was something else. there are days i wish i was married and settled. but then if that were the case i wouldn't be able to pick up and move across the country...and follow my nomad heart. what i really want is someone to be a nomad with me...permanently. ; )
so today i say, 'transition smansition.'
1 comment:
Love this entry. It speaks to exactly where I am (and so many recent grads) in life. A classmate and I are in the process of starting a blog entitled "Transition Smansition". Hopefully you will check it out (once it is up and running)! In the meantime, would you mind sharing the article you reference in your post. Thanks!!! Good luck through this hard time. Pray for patience and understanding...I find that is all I can do!
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