i hate goodbyes

well, i just had my first hard goodbye. thus far i've just been ignoring the fact that i won't see some people for 4 months...and others for much longer. i've been leaving it as "okay, see you soon," all the while knowing soon really means many months from now.

i'm really excited to go, but this might be a bit harder than expected. i'm pretty sure i'll be shedding tears tomorrow and throughout the course of my last week here.

my mom is throwing a going-away/graduation party for me tomorrow. stuff is starting to get real and it's weird. i know 4 months isn't that long, but someone put it in terms of a third of my year...it sounds much longer that way, and therefore makes saying goodbye to people i love a little harder. tomorrow should be interesting because i think it'll be another reality check. it dawned on me the other day that i'm no longer in school and won't be doing school when i get back. for the first time in my life i don't have definite plans when i return. it kinda freaks me out and excites me at the same time.

i was talking to a friend the other day about how i love it when we leave "ROOM" for god to work in our lives. he has plenty of ROOM to work in my life now and when i return. following christ is never boring...ever--it's just a bit scary and REALLY exciting. i wouldn't wanna be anybody else right now. goodbyes can be sad, but when i realize how much i'll gain while i'm gone and how sweet the hello's will be when i return, i just smile.